Unfucking!!

"My life sucks", is pretty much what I think every morning when I wake up. The sudden passing of my father on Halloween has taken me to emotional lows I didn't know existed. I have been so consumed by sadness, darkness and anger that crawling out of bed each morning was a major feat. In the midst of things I said goodbye to my far away job and moved back in with my mom. She needed my support and I sure needed hers. After living away for many years however, melding my new tastes and acquired belongings with my childhood bedroom proved to be a difficult task. My drawers and closets were filled with stuff of the past and there was no room for the new me. So, I started piling and avoiding until I was barely sleeping in my room at all. I was drowning in stuff. Everytime I started to sort I would find a picture of my dad, or one of his sweaters, a note he had written me... and it would stop me in my tracks. I got onto UfYH via a friends post. It took weeks of follwing it to before I actually attempted anything. Mostly things outside of my room to start. Carrying dishes to the sink, tidying the bathroom etc.. Last week however, My mom gifted me a new mattress hoping that it would put an end to my insomnia. The furniture folks were to deliver it the following week and they needed to have a clear path to its new home. So, I had a week to get my crap in order. Taking inspiration from many other before and afters, I did it!! It took a few days, many 20/10's... 45/15's... 20/2hrs..., and several you tubed tiny desk concerts to complete. It's not perfect the dresser tops and desks tops still need attention but 4 goodwill bags later and you can see my floor folks!! And I have a new bed to lie in that I don't have to share with a random pile of shit. Hopefully " UfYH and the tiny desk will help me stay motiviated to keep it up. The before's are from about day 2... it was much much worse to begin. and after...

Trendy Treehouse "Faces"

Well I probably shouldn't have picked two pictures but I'm an auntie two twin boys how could I choose? These guys are the light of my life!

Finally an update.

I am alive, in case anyone was wondering. I finally have Internet access and the time to write. We finished our project in Mobile in mid April. It turned out to be a really wonderful first project. I think we were pretty spoiled. As the weeks went on we learned how to do pretty much all of the outside work on a house. Besides basic framing we learned how to roof and side houses. By the end of the 6 weeks I felt really comfortable and confident in my ability enough to lead small groups of volunteers. I decided that I like roofing the best. There aren't a lot of people who like working up that high. It was usually less crowded on the roof. There was sort of a tranquil and artistic side to being up there. During one of our first few weeks we set up for a habtitat home dedication. We got to see nine families get the keys to their homes. This was really one of the greatest parts of the whole experience. Just seeing the excitement on these families faces and hear the appreciation in their speech solidified our purpose for being in the South. In time even our little "cardboard" houses proved their worth. When it rained they leaked a bit but otherwise they offered a lot of privacy which was definitely a blessing. All in All mobile was a really great city. I was sad to leave. We worked with some amazing people and I got to hear some great bands play.
We left Alabama and headed to Trinity, Texas. Trinity is in the middle of no where and seems like it's right out of a horror movie. In Texas we met up with all the corps members from the Denver campus at a YMCA camp. It was supposed to be a time to relax and regroup in between projects. We had to debrief about our project in Mobile and then brief about our new project. The week started out really fun. I got to spend time with all of my friends from Denver. Sunday the had tons of activities for us: a high ropes course, a climbing wall, a giant swing, a water slide. Monday my friend Trisha got a phone call informing her that her Uncle had been killed in freak accident at a shooting range. Trisha was beside herself and we all felt for her which put a haze on the rest of the week. We spent about five days in Texas before we heading further South to Louisana. On our was to Louisana we stopped in Biloxi and participated in an all corps discussion forum. This forum combined corps members from all of the campuses currently in session as well as various political advisors and other leaders involved in relief work. Basically this gave us on opportunity to discuss the future of Americorps NCCC amongst ourselves and with people outside of our orginization. Everyone had postive things to say about our work and the future of our progam.
On friday night we drove to Camp Hope where my team and I will spend live and work for the next week. Camp Hope is located in St. Bernard Parish just outside of New Orleans city limits. Camp Hope is a former elementary school that has been converted into a shelter for voulunteers and relief workers in St. Bernard Parish. Currently I am living in a room with 16 other girls and sharing housing with about 500. Our job is to cook breakfast for everyone living at Camp. Our shift starts at 4am and is supposed to end at Noon. So far we have gotten done early every day. We are all still getting used to the hours and it's made us quite crabby. The work however is good. Each morning we serve any combination of scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon, oatmeal, muffins, bagels, and cold cereal. Our supervisor had been working a split shift getting up in the morning and making dinner in the evening. So he showed us the ropes the first couple of days but by Wednesday he pretty much let us run things by ourselves. This isn't my ideal project and by no means is living at camp home glamourous but it could be worse I suppose.
St. Bernard Parish where we are working was declared 100 percent unliveable after the hurricane. It was such a depressing sight when we first drove through. The homes here weren't destroyed by the storm, they were flooded by the levees breaking. The water rose so high it completly covered most of the houses which remained flooded for nearly two weeks time. The people here lost all of their belongings and now have only an empty shell of a home that is infested with mold. St. Bernard Parish was home to honest hardworking people who have yet to get back on their feet. We have met several community members all of them willing to tell us their stories of survivial. It is so humbling to hear the high spirts and the passion that these people have for their home. I didn't realize and I don't think most people realize that so much later their are still people with no place to live with only a skelton of house. People who need help. It really makes me question our government. Why are we spending so much time and money in the middle east when their are so many in our own country that desperately need assitance?
We have been here for just over a week and I'm really finding a new appreciaton for New Orleans. We have been downtown about three times and we are discovering that it has some really great culture and class. This weekend and next is the New Orleans Jazz and Heritage festival. There are some really great artists performing during these two weekends: Van Morrison, The Allman Brothers, Norah Jones, John Legend... the list goes on and on. There are eleven different stages with 5-6 band performing on each stage per day. We are volunteering at the festival so we get in for free. Right now I'm living it up in the air conditoning in the fair productions trailer answering phones and playing on the Internet but I'm on my way out to hit up Ludacris.

This was our first full week of work and I am exhausted. We get to our job site about 7:45 each morning and work until 4:30 or later. Then we have to either workout, do volunteer hours or both. Our day is never over. This week we worked with two groups of students on alternative spring break trips. One group was from North Carolina State and the other group was from a small Catholic school in Pennsylvania. All together we had about 60 extra people staying at our camp. While it was nice having their help at work it was difficult having to share one kitchen with all of them. Our first friday of work we moved all the lumber around to set up the framing for the house we were going to build this week. On monday we built and set up walls. Tuesday we set up the trusses on the roof of the house. Wednesdsay and Thursday we roofed and yesterday we put up siding. I'm not sure that I'm cut out for construction work but I'm getting my hands in all of it. If nothing I hope that I'm an expert at hammering by the end of our 6 weeks here. Between our team and the two groups of volunteers we put up all of the framing for two houses this week. We will leave the houses alone for the next to weeks for contractors to come in and do plumbing, electric work etc... Then we go back in and put in doors, windows, paint and put the finishing touches on the inside. I'm hoping we will get to do some inside work. I think that I will be better at that kind of thing. Basically we will have college spring break groups working with us most of the time we are here. The boys on my team are very pleased to have all of the co-eds running around. Robyn my team leader and I went to see the band Moe on Sunday they sounded really good. Then Thursday night a few of our Americorps friends drove over from Biloxi to see Michael Franti play. He was amazing lots of energy!! I'm getting along ok with everyone on my team. It's hard because we are always together. I have hardly any privacy and almost no time alone. I really wish I had my car with me. We are gonna go to New Orleans for St. Patricks Day. I'm hoping I'll get to see some of my friends from Denver while I'm there. I'm going to come home for a few days at the end of the month I am eager for a break.

Mobile, Alabama... We got here yesterday evening after a three day drive from Denver. We left about 9:00 Monday morning and drove all day to Memphis, TX. Then we got up early Tuesday morning and headed towards Louisiana. Out of the nine people on my team we only have five drivers and two vehicles so I had to drive four hours each day. The driving hasn't been that bad though. It's actually less boring to be behind the wheel. Plus the driver gets to control the music. Apparently, Mobile is routinely listed as one of the top 100 places to live in the U.S., so far it doesn't have my vote. When we got to our camp we thought we were supposed to be staying in bunk housing. We were assuming that meant cabins or maybe a bunkhouse. Basically our housing can best be described as expandable cardboard boxes. We are living in these little huts made of a sort of plastic/cardboard material. I hope they don't blow away. It makes the dorms in Denver look like the Hilton. Right now we've only got two people per structure but another team is coming on Sunday so we might have to do some switching around. My roommate's name is Alli. She is from a small town in Michigan. She just turned twenty. She has never been away from home before. We don't have a lot in common to put it mildly but I'm trying very hard to be nice to her. We were supposed to start work today. We had to be at our work site at 7am this morning. We met our crew leader and some of the other people we'll be working with. They all seem pretty cool and laid back. It was raining when we got there this morning so they sent us back to camp for the day. The weather has been pretty horrible all day. It's been raining most of the day and we've been having tornado warnings. Storms are kind of scary when your home is a cardboard box. Right now we are seeking shelter at the library. I'm starting to feel like I'm a little crazy for being here when I could be at home sleeping in my warm bed, eating good meals, hanging out with my friends, snuggling with my dog. Hopefully my attitude will improve when the weather gets better and we actually start working.

So I've been pretty sick the past couple of weeks -- first with a sinus infection and then with the flu. I'm just now starting to get back on my feet. We just finished our third week of training. This week we had cpr and first aid training, a diversity seminar, a healthy living seminar and a bunch of other training classes. I guess all of the training is necesscary but it all seems so monotonous. I've mostly been hanging out with a girl named Cheryl from New Jersey and her roomate Molly who is from Boston. 56 hope road played downtown last Saturday. Even though I was sick I still went. I met Marty and Corey at the show. The band was supposed to headline with a couple of other acts but somehow the lineup got mixed up and they ended up playing first. Since I wasn't feeling well I decided to go late and missed most of the set. It was still nice to see the guys. The bar that they played at was really cool. It is really small and intimate with couches set up around the stage. After the show Corey and Marty took me to Sanchos a bar nearby that has a Dead theme. It was really awesome. I've been trying to take it easy most of this week just to get healthy. Last night I finally went to Longshots the bar near campus that everyone goes to. It was ok. We got our permanent team assignments yesterday. My Team Leader is Robyn. She was my orginal team leader from when we first arrived. She's from Kentucky and is really laid back and cool. I'm definitley happy to be on her team. I'm pretty excited about my team as well. There are a lot of good people that I'll be living and working with for the next several months. We are heading to Mobile, Alabama to work on a project with Habitat for Humanity. I'm am very happy about this project. I really want to learn how to use tools and build things. Mobile is the second largest city in Alabama. I'm not really sure how big that means it is. It has a good music venue so I should be able to check out some decent shows while I'm there. We have the next couple of days off so I think maybe we're planning to go on a little roadtrip. I went hiking in Boulder last weekend with my team. It was beautiful but hard to enjoy because I was feeling so miserable. Oh yeah so they made me switch rooms this week too. My team leader just showed up at my door and said I needed to move because some girls from the other dorm were moving into my room. I was VERY upset about it. I went ahead and moved my stuff (just down the hall) but I did go talk to my Unit Leader about it yesterday. He didn't know anything about it. So now I'm living with this girl named Fathia she's orginally from Ethiopia and she just graduated from High School. She's nice enough. I'm trying to be "flexible".

So, I'm here... The drive was long but not terrible. Once I got into the western part of Kansas the speed limit went up to 75 which helped a lot. I can't remember when I've seen so much snow on the ground and it just keeps coming. It is so cold outside that we really haven't been able to explore much of the campus. I'm not sure what year the University started but most of the buildings are really outdated. I didn't realize how spoiled I was at monmouth with all of the new facilities. My room is fairly small but right now I have it all to myself so I'm not complaning. I guess the girl who was supposed to live with me chickened out at the last minute. They said maybe they would stick me with someone else. I'm really hoping I just get to have the place to myself. Right now I'm on a ten person team with kids from all over the country. However they switch up the teams a lot the first couple of weeks so that we get to know other people and to see how we interact with one another. My team leaders name is Robyn. She is from Kentucky and seems very laid back. We spent the first couple of days just in meetings. We went over the rules and filled out paperwork etc... Yesterday we also got our uniforms which consist of surplus pants, gray t-shirts, a hoodie, and parka. We are to wear them whenver we're "on duty" starting today. The pants are not warm or comfortable. Today we were supposed to go on a scavenger hunt in downtown Denver just to get acclimated with city. Since the weather is poor we skipped it. Instead, we went to a coffee shop near campus and then took the Light Rail downtown to a pizza parlor and cool bookstore. I was desperate for a latte. Tomorrow we have our physicals and Saturday we have our driving test. I think I'm in the "need not apply" category as far as driving goes.